Okay, okay, I couldn’t help but say that song title, but I said it because it’s empowering and empowerment means defining our self esteem based on what makes us feel good about ourselves, despite what others think.
We hear a lot about self care as women because most of us tend to overwork ourselves in our job, family, school, relationships and so much more and it’s hard to find time for ourselves. Self care is typically defined, for women, as treating ourselves with manicures, massages, read a good book, take a nap and many other things that are acceptable to discuss, but what about self love?
Self love is self care.
The media bombards us with pictures of what we are “supposed” look like, act like, speak like and even how sexy we are supposed to be. There is so much information and it becomes extremely overwhelming. If we aren’t a certain size, color, gender identity, race, an any other label, we aren’t sexy or genuine or even attractive and how can we possibly love our bodies and our minds if we don’t feel confident with who we are?
This is why I talk about self love.
Self love in the physical sense of exploration. Personal exploration. Not with someone else, but with one person-you—and I do mean physically enjoying your own body and what it can do for you.
It’s the dreaded word…you know what I’m going to say…yup, masturbation.
Yeah I know, this is a cringe inducing subject for a lot of us, but bear with me for a moment.
Think of it this way…and I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this way.
Many of us women occasionally go to the mall or salon by ourselves-get a little alone time. We try on jeans or a new dress or shoes or go get a haircut or a manicure or whatever else may make us feel good about ourselves. We boost our confidence by doing these things to pamper ourselves a bit and make us feel attractive or sexy or whatever else positive emotion we feel as a result.
The thing about this is that while they may help, it’s temporary and expensive. So maybe we go back, get more of whatever it is and somehow don’t quite feel as confident as the time before. We think about the bombardment of what is expected of us by Hollywood standards and then those jeans we bought the other day suddenly don’t feel so attractive and they stay at the bottom of our drawers. Soon we are not dressing comfortably in the sense of positive self image, but in the sense of embarrassment.
The honest truth is…most people don’t notice. Why? Because they, men and women, feel the same way. We are ALL bombarded with images of what we are expected to look like or be.
So how do we solve it? Well, I’ll tell you a very healthy way, as a women, to boost your self confidence and find out what truly makes you feel good.
Get to know your body! Bond with yourself! Know what feels good! Explore in a healthy and safe way! Don’t focus on your genitals, they don’t define you! Who you are is not what is in between your legs…it is in your mind, soul and spirit and we can’t love those parts, if we don’t love ALL of ourselves.
If you are feeling good, because you are happily giving yourself some self love, then that sexiness, that confidence, that genuine appeal that is already there, will come out from hiding and show itself. When this happens, you can wear a paper bag and feel like a total goddess!
Self love isn’t just about masturbation, but exploring your own body is a fantastic and valuable way to learn to accept the outside and let the inside shine through.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox…now that you are still with me, check out this link. Real women, names, ages, careers, normal, average women like all of us…explaining what they love and what they use to help them achieve self love.